My name is Kenton and I’m addicted to money.
I know that sounds silly. Even sillier now that I’ve written it. It’s like saying I’m addicted to air or water. I need money to survive today. To pay my mortgage, buy my food, put gas in my car so I can get to work. It’s not so much an addiction as a necessity.
Sometime things we need pass turn unhealthy. I need food to survive, but an obsession with food can lead to obesity and other health problems. It can become unhealthy. And the same with money.
Once I spent a family vacation to Australia working on a report. Why did I not go to the beach with my kids, forging lasting memories, and instead sit in the hotel researching and writing? Because the report would pay $10,000 and I wanted the money.
When I don’t have money, I wake up in the middle of the night wounding where the next check will come from, like a junky jonseing for his next hit. I’m distracted during the day, thinking about money.
And when I have money, I’m worrying about getting more money. Or how long this money will last. In the case of the later, I’m rationing out the dollars, making it stretch until the next cash infusion comes. It’s really pathetic.
They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. So I’m admitting it.
The next step is surrender to a higher power.
I’ve been out on my own for over six years. In that time I have learned one very important lesson. If you put in the effort, things will work out. Despite all my worrying about money, we’ve always made the mortgage payment and put food on the table. That happened because I took real steps to ensure income would be coming in. The worrying did nothing productive.
Even when things look bleak, there is always an option. When my mortgage was coming due for renewal, I was really worried. But then I found a bank that would give me a better interest rate AND a few thousand dollars cash back. I put in the effort and it worked out in the end better than I imagined.
So I’m going to try to break the addiction. Stop worrying about money and spend that time doing the things I want to with my family. I’ll let you know how that works out.